“The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all”
That verse keeps me going, it keeps my head held up. Even though I’m struggling with finances, friends, and my family is struggling, I have hope. I know the Lord provides, He always has in the past. I know God works on His time and I know His timing is perfect. I’m thankful for all the many blessings He has given me.
I realize that I am an independent person and I don’t try and change who I am so people will like me. I am who I am. The Lord made me exactly how He wanted. I’m quiet for the most part, I’m very laid back, I love people so much I feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest sometimes, I don’t dance, I don’t play sports, I’m emotional, I love being outside, I love animals, and I can be sassy. I’m okay with who i am, but lately I feel like my church family isn’t. I have gone to the church I go to my whole life. Before I became a Christian I just went because my patents “highly suggested” it. I have never really felt very welcome in my church and once I became a Christian, unfortunately that didn’t change a whole lot. I believe that your church is supposed to be accepting, welcoming, friendly, and all those things. I go to church the church I go to for two reasons: to learn about my God and to worship Him, and because my CORE girls. If it wasn’t for my girls, I would be attending a different church. The group of people at my church that are around my age are who I struggle with the most. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ and I love them with everything inside of me but they have perfected the art of making someone feel unwelcome. It drives me mad that the friends I had before I was a Christian are more accepting of who I am. It makes going to church almost un appealing because I don’t know if when I get there, they are going to be nice or completely ignore me. I totally understand why so many people avoid church, especially those who are new to the faith. It’s scary stuff and it can be very intimidating! You are scared of being judged and scared people aren’t going to accept the fact that you have screwed up and made bad choices in your past. As much as I feel I welcomed at my church, I still love my church family. They might not want to accept me or want to get to know my heart but I love them for who they are and that’s really all I can do. I understand the fact that they have sinned, I understand that they have made bad choices before…that’s what makes us human! God has forgiven them and I there is not one reason I shouldn’t forgiven them as well. People in my church have personally hurt me and made me feel like dirt but I just remember that my Savior was spit on, kicked when He was down, beaten almost to death and died on a cross for everyone. That’s ultimate love, forgiveness, and passion. Jesus loved everyone and showed the most compassion to the people that were considered “outcasts” and the people who everyone was disgusted of. The leaders of that time thought He was mad because He taught people to love your enemies as well as your friends and the leaders fought against Him until they put Him on a cross. Never once did Jesus fight back to the people who persecuted Him. Never once did He talk wrongly to or about those people. He let them do all those things to Him and still forgave them. That’s the ultimate sacrifice. I find no reason to try and harm or bring down the people that have brought me down, especially in my own church. One of Jesus’ disciples completely betrayed Him for his own selfish desires. Another one of His disciples denied knowing Jesus because he didn’t want to risk being punished. Jesus forgave even them and still loved them. I am getting all this information from mainly the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John). I just pray that one day my church family will understand how to love someone despite their wrongs and their pasts. Those things don’t make a person who they are, Jesus does.
